So, at last, the one I've been waiting and wanting to write. We are employed. The Broadway company of Billy Elliot has hired me on a three month contract to execute a featured ensemble track ("Scab/Posh Dad") and to understudy Greg Jbara's track ("Dad") Back on Broadway. The relief is palpable.
I began rehearsal a little over three weeks ago and had my "put in" into production performance last Saturday. I have lost 10 pounds during those rather grueling three weeks, owing to entering into a "training/rehearsal" eating regimen and the extensive physical training required of the members of this incredible company. I haven't worked this hard, or have been asked to work this hard in a production since college.
I hadn't seen the show prior to being hired. It's incredible. If there is to be an entry for the intergalactic music theater competition from the planet earth, I nominate Billy Elliot. We might just take Venus this year. See it.
I got a message from my brother Dave not long after receiving the call to work.
" It seems like a frigging miracle, and I hope it indeed is. I tell you, though, I don't think you in any way deserved whatever lesson this was trying to teach you. In fact, it makes me believe even less in such things as these kinds of lessons than ever before."
Oddly encouraging. Revealing a level of concern and regard that my brother harbors for me that I find enormously moving. One thing we have discovered over the last couple of years when our cupboards were very bare, was how deep our pockets truly were with family and friends. The message also is very funny.
So many of the congratulatory messages that appeared were along the lines of, "It's a miracle!" "See, things always work out this way." "... Closed doors, open windows!" Etc. All of these messages intimating an actor's religion of sorts. A belief among artists in a great design, a higher power. We do it all the time. We need that faith.
I had a class at NYU called "Dreams, Dream Psychology and the Performing Artist." One of the theories being - what we perceive as dreams when we sleep are nothing but random images from the subconscious. It is only upon awakening and entering the conscious mind that we manipulate these images into narrative, into stories. Stories complete with beginning, middle, and end that we then actively apply meaning and moral to.
I've come to the conclusion that us humans actively do this in the conscious world as well. We constantly take the random events that occur in our lives and fashion them in story and utilize them. There is no more valuable commodity to our collective and individual conscious than story. Often folks with the best story win in politics, the arts, business, love.... life.
In terms of our recent random events over the last couple of years the immediate interpretation is as follows: We struggled, I had to dig deeper, suck it up, and was ultimately rewarded with this plum job. I like this interpretation very much and will stick to this story as I have at other points in my artistic life when times were tough and was eventually rewarded.
Travel back with me to 1996. There I was slaving away at three restaurant jobs at once in Manhattan with the Broadway gig of '89 and the TV gigs of the early 90's already memory. I had just started at the Blue Water Grill and was quickly developing bitter actor persona. At 31, I was already the oldest waiter on staff and affectionately nicknamed "papa" by the clever little tits. It felt like my chosen career had completely evaporated and here I was back in the restaurants. A failure.
I had a waiter's nightmare of a day. Absolutely and entirely in the weeds for hours, angry customers, sucky tips, the money completely not working out at the end of the day.
Back at home in my Brooklyn apartment I lamented on the late night land line to my pal Funda. "Where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong? What happened to my career?'
Funda said, "How do you expect to make it work there (where you want to be) if you aren't making it work here (where you are)?"
Bells went off. I sucked it up. I determined to become the best waiter in the restaurant. I memorized the wine list. I sold the most specials. I sucked up to management. I did more side work than was required. Work was better. Within two weeks I was cast in the original company of Titanic on Broadway.
Aha! Lesson learned! And yet, 13 years later, time to relearn it and suck it up again. There is a twist, however.
On the recommendation of many friends, I read "Heat" recently. Bill Buford's account of a transformed life working as a kitchen slave in Mario Batali's New York restaurant. There is a section about Mario Batali, Bobby Flay and other cutting edge chef's including David Bouley meeting regularly for late night benders and binges at the Blue Ribbon restaurant in downtown NY in the late 90's before any of them had achieved the international stardom they enjoy now. I worked for David Bouley back then as an Asst. Mait're 'D, and remember waiters and sous chefs asking me if I wanted to go to Blue Ribbon after work. I remember turning them down because I would have rehearsal in the morning, or wanted to keep the restaurant world from consuming me completely while I was trying to get that next theater gig, so I could quit my day job. You see, I only worked in the food world for the money so that I could pursue my goal of making a living in the theater.
13 years later, willing to give almost anything to time travel back and take those guys up on that offer to hang out at the Blue Ribbon, I find that I'm working in the theater for the money so that I can be with the food I love.
After the Blue Water Grill, "excellence in everything" lesson learned, I thought I had achieved the "happily ever after." Now I work in the theater for the rest of my life, because I learned my lesson.
So much of my drive to succeed in the theater was to show and prove to various non believers in my past that it was possible. It was my goal to raise a family and buy a house being an actor. I find it therefore, pretty darn interesting that I ran into the work stoppage after achieving those goals. More interesting, I'm not really so interested in what those non believers think anymore anyway. I stalled and stumbled and found many treasures, and am interested in pursuing them not to show anyone, but because I love doing them.
I love making food for folks.
Nicole and I worked very hard to not let our economic crisis rob us of our happiness. To not let the fear of losing what we have overtake the beautiful moments we were actually in. Now that the tone is lighter and we can funnel money to the bank to stave off the foreclosure notice that was but two weeks away at the time I got the job, we have an even greater obligation to guard our happiness and stay in the moment.
So here's the thing. In the past, when I've been saved by the big job, I've thought that that was the end of the story.... not this time. I have had my horizons broadened by our "crisis". I stumbled and found treasure. I want all of the things I found. So, while I work this very temporal job in the most temporal of the arts, I will continue to pursue the Underground Restaurant, Children's Book Writing, Book Writing, Blogging, Private Cheffing, Family Raising, Television Show Developing, Musical Writing, Violin Playing, Gardening Drew and make a dozen new stories each and every day.
Suck this up:
SPAGHETTINI WITH BALSAMIC GREEN TOMATO AND SWEET ITALIAN SAUSAGE.
2 Tbs. olive oil plus a little more
1 to 2 lbs. green tomato sliced thin
2 cloves garlic minced
6 Tbs. balsamic vinegar
1 Tbs. sugar
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper
tsp. minced fresh oregano or marjoram
1/2 lb. to 1 lb. sweet Italian sausage
16 oz. spaghettini
Grated Pecorino Romano
Heat skillet over high heat for several minutes then add oil. When oil is nearly smoking hot add tomatoes and sear over very high heat for 3 minutes. Reduce heat to medium and add garlic. When garlic turns golden, add Balsamic, sugar, red pepper, oregano or marjoram.
Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to boil and cook spaghettini to al dente.
In another skillet with cover, bring half a cup of water to boil add sausage links, cover and steam for five minutes. Remove from heat and slice sausages on the bias. Dump water and add 1 Tbs. oil to skillet and quickly sear sausage pieces over high heat. Add sausage to green tomato sauce.
When pasta is nearly Al Dente, add to green tomato sauce in skillet, toss, and cook until pasta is tender. Add 1/2 cup of pasta water to sauce, toss and serve with grated Pecorino Romano.
Man, you deserve your happiness!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story - it is inspiring and rings true. See, old dogs are never too old to learn how to make youthful dreams come true. Keep going!
:).
We're happy for you, and may the Schwartz always be with you!
ReplyDelete:):)