I bang my head.
Yesterday as I got into
the 2001 family Corolla, I had left the driver side sun visor up and out. Full force of my mid life weight swinging
into captain Toyota chair, then: Bam! Direct to the right temple.
I moaned my head blow “ow”
sound and sat in the driver’s seat for a bit with the ole coconut hanging and cradling
my temple waiting for the obligatory 15 second pain period to pass on it’s drip,
drip ,dripping, pendulously slow junket.
I bang my head.
It is my number one recurring
accident. Earlier in the day I cracked
my noggin on the edge of the kitchen cupboard I had left open as I swooped in
to chop some onion. That one sent me to
the floor.
At least once a day, I
bang my head. I also stub my toes, bang
my elbows, knock my knees, fall on my ass, but hands down, I mostly bang my
head.
Some folks are toe
stubbers, I am a head banger.
Some of the incidents have
been spectacular. A tremendous Greg
Luganis-like incident. A far braver than
I today, 12 year old me executing a back flip gone awry from the 3 meter board.
There was blood.
In my only bar fight so
far, Jesse, the assailant, cracked me soundly on the noggin not once but twice
with a vicious pool cue.
Serious blood.
Running full speed round
the corner of my driveway as a 9 year old, I cracked my bean directly into the
steel propeller blade of the upturned outboard motor of our parked boat. My feet flew, very Tom and Jerry, up and out,
and the concrete of the driveway greeted the back of my noodle with a bone
melon sickening thud.
Lots of blood.
As I say,
spectacular. But most of the head bangs
are extremely pedestrian and as I said, frequent. Cupboards, book cases, kitchen doors, car
doors, garage doors, attic, bathroom and bedroom doors, coffee and dining
tables, desks, baseball bats, tennis racquets, golf clubs, hockey sticks, tree
limbs and stumps, hoes, rakes, spades, decks, beams, luggage racks, ceilings,
floors, rocks, the car trunk, etc.
My Native American name
would be “Bangs Head A lot”.
When I work cheffing in a
new kitchen, I will inevitably bang my head on a new obstacle; often a vent
that I didn’t expect over the stove, or the heading over the sink. This usually happens within the first 15 to
20 minutes in the foreign kitchen.
If I’m on my game, I note
the first head bang and avoid the second.
Off my game and I’m in for four or five times.
I try to see it this
way: “The new kitchen is trying to tell
me something. I need to be aware.” I thank the kitchen for the bang, if it’s a
polite thump and not a wallop. In such
a case, of course, I curse.
I attempt to view all of
the bangs as a kind of wake up call from the universe. I think, “Okay. Why did the universe just
smack me?”
Answer generally is: “Look!
Look up! Look out! Keep your eyes up. Look out and up!” Always looking down when I get these
wallops. So I never see it comin’. Possible exception is the bar fight, I was
looking right into Jesse’s eyes when he swung that cue. Still didn’t see it coming.
In a more philosophical
light, I also think of it as a way for the present to remind me to stay in
it. “No past dwelling or future fretting. Be here now.”
Whack! “Got me? Because I’ll do it again!”
Often times though, I
think the universe is merely a cruel bitch that just gets off on pegging me when
I least expect it. And being as the universe is gonna make it far past the tenth round
of my time here, I throw in the towel graciously.
Of course it’s the infinite firmament behind all the noggin knockin'; if you don’t keep looking
at the stars, she’ll make you see them.
healthy pinch or two of salt
Dough:
2 1/2 cups "00" flour
tbs. sugar
!/2 cup warm to hot water
salt and freshly ground pepper
Bake:
4 tbs. olive oil
Sponge: In a mixer with paddle place the 1 1/2 cups flour and the salt. Dissolve the yeast in the hot water and slowly stream into bowl with mixer at medium setting. Cover bowl with towel and let rest in a warm area of your kitchen. Let sponge proof for one hour or until doubled in size.
Dough: Attach dough hook to mixer and start kneading, incorporating remaining flour, sugar, and water. When almost all the flour is used, add a little more salt and pepper.
Grease a small sheet pan with 2 tbs. of the Olive Oil. Lightly stretch the dough and transfer it to pan and continue to stretch to size. Brush remaining olive oil over dough and cover tightly with plastic wrap. Let dough rest in warm place until doubled in size again.
Bake: Preheat oven to 375ยบ. Bake focaccia for 40 minutes. Remove from oven. Let rest in pan for 10 minutes. Serve with olive oil.
Variations:
Add 2 cups boiled and riced potatoes to dough.
Mix walnuts into dough and top with rosemary.
Mix shallots into dough.
Substitute milk for warm/hot water..
